Long before our family consisted of more than just Mark & Whitney, we talked about and dreamed about what it would be like to adopt one day. Little did we know what God had in store for us?!
My heart couldn’t have been more overjoyed over having a football loving little boy and a curly headed baby girl!! As our little family grew, our thoughts of growing our family again or what could be ahead, led us to the broken, wonderful, tragic & uncertain world of foster care. In April 2019, our “family of four” almost doubled to a family of 7… we had no idea this temporary situation would one day become permanent. While we had dreamt of adoption years prior, our goal as foster parents was just to follow Jesus and love on the children who found themselves uprooted and uncertain about everything in life.
The first year of the placement was unbelievably full of challenge & life change! Learning 3 new humans felt like a crazy ride where we had missed the seatbelt instructions, warnings, opportunities to “watch”, and everything else about this roller coaster of parenting… over the course rid the first year, Mark had open heart surgery with major complications post-op resulting in months of hospitalization & home health… a baby boy was born to the biological mom of our three, but his discharge plan quickly shifted and I spent copious amounts of time staring at this new baby making sure his chest was rising and falling on schedule and reading everything possible about caring for a baby with NAS and going through withdrawals… Mark’s job changed… then entered covid and now our dining room is a classroom for 5 with a 3 month old in a bouncer an arm’s reach away… it was a wild ride for sure!
The struggle of our first three, was very different for each one, but also very evident. While many folks don’t want a diagnosis of anything, it can be empowering to know how to pray, how to treat, & how to identify and plan for struggles. Through a series of outbursts, teacher calls & medical professionals, we received a diagnosis we had been told in foster parent classes, we’d likely never see, but that no one wanted (true story), RAD {Reactive Attachment Disorder}. It’s a beast y’all! We can share more on that later, but just know it’s one of the most frustrating, heart-breaking, life-altering disorders I can imagine. Late 2020, we were dealing with so much behaviorally when we received a call asking if we’d take a baby girl, just born. I politely said, “I know I said I’d take all the babies, but we still have a baby (11 months) and we’re dealing with so much on the behavior side that I’m just not sure”. When the caller said, well this is a sibling, I couldn’t belive what I was hearing. After 5 days of praying & discussing, we felt God leading us to say yes, very apprehensively, but yes. Two days after our commitment was made (baby girl was in the NICU), the Lord spoke so clearly that while He had given us the tools to do this work of parenting kids from hard places and a multitude of them as well, 😊 He was asking us to say yes, because He wanted to use our lives as an example and testimony of walking in His strength and not our own. Boy has that ever been true!
In December 2022, we were finally able to finalized our adoption. We felt that once that big event was completed that things would begin to settle in completely and that we’d truly feel like family! Here we are, two years later, facing the hardest time so far, yet knowing, confidently, that God didn’t pull our kids out of a bad situation to leave them without redemption of all the enemy has tried to steal from them!
Two of our children have such major trauma and baggage, that an inpatient type setting is what they need at this time. It has definitely taken some time to process this, but we’ve tried everything we know possible. As a Mama, I want to be able to fix and bring healing to their hearts, but the Lord is the only one that can be all they need and He has opened this door to allow them to step into a place to help them heal and process so, so much. Not only will this time give them the opportunity to work through deep hurts and retrain negative mindsets, but it will allow the remaining 5 children a reprieve from it all and a time to recover from the trauma that has spread & tried to make it’s home in every single heart in our home. God led us to an amazing, Christian facility that we believe will speak to their hearts & give them the space & opportunity to work through so much!
It comes at a great cost – $6,000 per month, per child, with a minimum 12 month commitment. We have been blessed to receive a grant for about 1/3 of the cost, but we are humbly asking our friends and family to pray with us about the rest and to ask the Lord if this is a worthy cause for your giving. Lifesong has graciously offered a matching grant to a portion of the funds given through them as well as tax information when needed.
Thank you for taking the time to read and share! Bless you for being a part of healing for the #whitakerkrew!!
STRIPE charges an online processing fee (2.2% +.30 USD per transaction)*. Your donations will be decreased by this amount. You may also send a check payable to “Lifesong for Orphans”. In the memo line please write “Whitaker 90554”, to ensure it is credited to our account. Please mail to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 9, Gridley, IL 61744.
Lifesong has been blessed with partners who underwrite all U.S. administrative and fundraising costs (TMG Foundation and other partners). That means 100% of your donation will go directly to the adoption.
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