Before we were married, we knew we wanted to adopt, so it was always part of our plan.
After we were married, God blessed us with two wonderful biological children. Then in 2013, He made it clear that it was time to begin the process of adoption.
The adoption journey was long and difficult, but the Lord provided for us every step of the way. After two years, we were overjoyed to bring our daughter Lucy home from China. She arrived in the United States on her eighth birthday. Although she didn’t understand a word of English, she seemed excited to have a new family.
From the beginning, there were a lot of struggles—many that we were prepared for because they are normal for a child who has suffered abandonment and trauma. She immediately started acting out in many ways, including some that were dangerous to herself and others.
Over time, it came to the point where we had to keep an eye on her every second to make sure she and others were safe. Even with help, things did not improve. In fact, it didn’t matter what we tried, things kept getting worse at home, church, and school. It was clear that much more was going on with her than just the expected issues.
Throughout those years, we sought professional assistance and discovered that some of Lucy’s behaviors stem from multiple special needs, including autism, processing disorders, and trauma-related issues. It was recommended that we seek a trauma-based residential program to help Lucy heal. We were grieved to think about sending our daughter away but understood it was the best thing for her.
For almost two years, we searched and prayed for the right place for Lucy. We spoke to dozens of places, but most of them would not even consider taking Lucy because of the severity of her behaviors. Finally, the Lord provided a wonderful Christian children’s home for her that has trauma-informed caregivers, professional therapists, and clinicians. They focus on stability, healing, and restoration for children like Lucy. It was an answer to prayer!
A year ago, we settled Lucy into the children’s home. The depth of loss and heartache we felt was intense, but we had great hope for what God was going to do.
The children’s home has been a great place for Lucy. Sadly, however, she has continued the same behaviors and has been unresponsive to all efforts to help her heal. She has made it clear to them and us that she doesn’t want any of the help that is being offered and doesn’t want to change. She also recently expressed that she never wants to come home and no longer wants to be part of our family, saying that she doesn't love us and never did. Obviously, this is painful. However, we also see it as progress, because she is honestly communicating her feelings. We also believe (and are working to confirm) that she has Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), which is always going to make connecting with others difficult for her.
We are now at the point where she is seventeen and heading toward adulthood without being at all ready. We are actively trying to do what we can to help set her up for success. After discussing it with professionals, we believe the best plan for Lucy is to find a way to pay for her to stay at the children’s home and then for a transitional program so she’ll be better prepared for adulthood. Once she turns eighteen, we would like to find her a safe group living situation for people with special needs.
The cost of all of this has been overwhelming. Thankfully, someone recommended we apply to Lifesong. We are blessed to have been given a $10,000 matching grant and the opportunity to share our story to raise more funds for Lucy’s care.
Through this campaign, we are hoping to raise the funds we need for Lucy’s tuition at the children’s home, her transitional program, and the start-up fees connected with setting her up in a group-living situation.
Even though Lucy doesn’t currently want God’s or our love and doesn’t want any help to heal, we still are praying God will work a miracle in her. We desire for her to know that God will always love her, that we will always love her, and that she will always be our daughter. We also want to do all we can to help her and set her up well for adulthood. We have always believed that she has a lot of potential and that God brought her here for a purpose. He is our loving God who brings beauty and healing out of our brokenness and pain. We are praying for and seeking that beauty and healing for Lucy. We know God is still in control and working regardless of the circumstances. He is forever good and faithful.
Please pray with us that God will continue to work in Lucy’s life and continue to provide for her care. If you feel led to donate to her care, we would greatly appreciate it. You can donate online or by mailing a check made out to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 9, Gridley, IL 61744. Please include our name in the memo line.
Thank you for taking time to read our story. May God richly bless you and yours!
Aaron and Christine St. Jacques
STRIPE charges an online processing fee (2.2% +.30 USD per transaction)*. Your donations will be decreased by this amount. You may also send a check payable to “Lifesong for Orphans”. In the memo line please write “St Jacques 90522”, to ensure it is credited to our account. Please mail to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 9, Gridley, IL 61744.
Lifesong has been blessed with partners who underwrite all U.S. administrative and fundraising costs (TMG Foundation and other partners). That means 100% of your donation will go directly to the adoption.
- In following IRS guidelines, your donation is to Lifesong for Orphans. This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor’s suggested use.
- Lifesong is a 501(c)3 tax exempt organization. Individual donations of $50 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt. Receipts for donations under $50 will gladly be sent upon request.
- *3.5% fee for donations given with an American Express card