The Schneider’s Adoption Journey

We are now in the summer of 2021. After what happened with L, we began seriously talking about adoption as a way to grow our family. At the same time, Olivia still had a deep desire to be pregnant and breastfeed at least one more time. Somehow, she came across an article about embryo adoption. We had never even heard of it before, and we were so excited. It felt like a way we could pursue adoption while also fulfilling Olivia’s desire to carry and nurse one more baby.

There are more than a million frozen embryos in the United States right now, and we were excited by the prospect of giving some of these babies an opportunity at life. We applied to Nightlight’s embryo adoption program and were accepted. We were set to adopt two embryos, possibly even from different families, and we were open to adopting embryos that were considered less desirable or lower rated. We met with the embryologist, and he spoke as though we could be pregnant by fall.

But as things became more real, Bryan had a hard time wrapping his mind around another couple’s biological child growing inside Olivia. He also wrestled with whether Olivia would have a bond with the baby because of carrying him or her in a way he never could, and whether he would be able to bond well too. He was also concerned that if he had that hesitation going in, it would not be right to bring a baby into the world that way. For him, it became a Romans 14:23 matter.

But our adoption journey did not end there. The next chapter comes in the spring of 2024.

We are now in 2020. My mom met a young woman on the train as she came to visit us in Iowa. This young woman was fighting to get clean from drugs, and she was doing a great job. She had a young toddler. Over the next six weeks, we became knee-deep in ministering to her and her son. But slowly, she started drifting back into the wrong crowd and losing the strong drive she had. Then COVID hit, and we lost touch with her. In the winter or spring of 2021, she overdosed and passed away.

That was when adoption started to become much more real to us. After learning of her death, we were heartbroken for her little boy. We called DHS and asked, “Does L need a home? We want to open ours to him if needed?” He ended up in a family member’s home, but that did not stop adoption from pressing more deeply on our hearts.

Next up is what happened in the summer of 2021.

Adoption began in our hearts long before we ever knew each other. As children, both of us imagined that someday we might adopt. We arrived at that desire separately, years before we met, and we believe God was the one who placed it in our hearts.

In our first year of marriage, we miscarried our first baby at five weeks and then walked through a season of infertility. During that time, we began looking into Bethany Christian Services, wondering if adoption was the path God had for us. Soon after, we became pregnant with our oldest son.

Four children later, in 2020, our adoption story began to take root in a deeper way. This was only the beginning, and we look forward to sharing more in our next update.