Hope and Healing for the Wises

Joy Wise
Joy Wise Arbela, Missouri

It is from a desperate and vulnerable place that we are reaching out and sharing our story here.

 

Adoption was on my heart even as a young girl. It was something I had always felt led to do. After marrying my husband, who was also adopted, the desire grew  to bless another child the way his parents blessed him.After struggling to grow our family the traditional way (multiple miscarriages and burying 2 babies).The time seemed right to begin the foster care process. We felt Gods hand as many doors  opened for us during the foster and adoption process that we never asked or expected !

 

In November of 2016 Kaitlyn became a permanent part of our family.

We were so delighted to have found ‘our  missing piece’!  The way the Lord had worked through it all we felt confirmed that she was meant to be a part of our family.

 

 

Kaitlyn came to us as an adorable, independent and strong willed 2.5 year old. From the moment the social worker handed her to me at the front door, I vowed  I would do everything I could to help her heal from the trauma of being separated from her birth family. Little did we know then, just how much trauma, abuse and neglect had already occurred and how it would affect her ability to connect with others. We quickly learned that parenting through trauma and attachment issues was very different than typical parenting. For years we tried to show her love the best we knew how and time and again we were left wondering what we were  doing so wrong? We finally realized that, due to her early experiences she learned that people simply cannot be trusted. And that, of course, impacts every other area of her life and consequently the rest of our family’s as well. Due to escalating behaviors and the toll it took on the family we needed to make the heartwrenching decision to temporarily place her with a trusted family member. But still, this is doing nothing to effectively address the root issue. Underneath the layers of hurt we can see a bright and beautiful child with so much potential. A child we are willing to fight for, but how?  How can we take back what the enemy has stollen from her and change the current trajectory of her life?

 

After hours, turning to days, weeks, months and even years of research and learning all I could about attachment  and trauma. It constantly kept coming back to the same thing; There is some-but not nearly enough-help out there and all of it comes with a high cost. Mental and behavioral health is the largest unmet need for kiddos from hard places. After extensive research and talking with many others we were told of a faith based, therapeutic school that has been highly regarded as having been very beneficial by others who had children there. And, they have an opening!! Finally, we began to feel hope again!! Our tears of despair and frustration were exchanged for tears gratefulness! There is HOPE for her! And then we learned the cost….. To start, it  would cost us approximately $10,000 and then  almost $4,000 per month. Add this to the responsibilities of raising a young family, and it feels like a lot. But, what may happen if she doesn’t have the chance to heal? It has been a desperate, hopeless feeling to know our child needs more than we ourselves can give, and to not be able to offer her the chance.

 

That’s when we learned about Lifesong! ♥️ What a blessing they have been! Thank you Jesus! 🙌 Lifesong has agreed to partner with us by  providing a matching grant up to $5,000!!! Every  dollar that gets donated will be matched by Lifesong up to $5,000!! Additionally, every donation of $50  or more will qualify for a tax deductible receipt. If, by Gods miraculous providence more funds are given than we need, we would use them to help fund another childs adoption or provide post adoption care for a family in need. It’s not without difficulty to put this out there and ask for help. We understand  that you also have other responsibilities and concerns. However, If you are feeling led to give to our cause, we would humbly and graciously accept.

If at this time funds do not allow space for you to contribute, we ask for  your continued prayers for wisdom and guidance as we navigate the limited options we have available to us and look to God for leading to make other difficult, crucial, decisions to best support the rest of our family.

I want to take a moment here to share a little about Lifesong For Orphans. Lifesong is a Christian organization that is dedicated to mobilizing the Church to care for the orphans. They help by offering matching grants for families wishing to adopt, post adoptive care, loans and fundraising ideas, as well as supporting orphans around the globe thru various programs! I hope you will take a moment to browse their website and see how they are impacting the world thru the children and families they serve!

And, If you are still with me after all of this, Thank you!  I urge you to consider one more thing, how can YOU help the many children needing a home? Either as a foster/adoptive parent, respite provider, therapist, etc.or just generally supporting those who already are. The need is tremendous.

 

…Truely I say unto you, inasmuch as you have done it to one of the least of these, My brothers, You have done it unto me… Matthew 25:40

 

Thank you so much for caring, God Bless – from the Wises


STRIPE charges an online processing fee (2.2% +.30 USD per transaction)*. Your donations will be decreased by this amount. You may also send a check payable to “Lifesong for Orphans”. In the memo line please write “Wise 90414”, to ensure it is credited to our account. Please mail to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 9, Gridley, IL 61744.

Lifesong has been blessed with partners who underwrite all U.S. administrative and fundraising costs (TMG Foundation and other partners). That means 100% of your donation will go directly to the adoption.

  • In following IRS guidelines, your donation is to Lifesong for Orphans. This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor’s suggested use.
  • Lifesong is a 501(c)3 tax exempt organization. Individual donations of $50 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt. Receipts for donations under $50 will gladly be sent upon request.
  • *3.5% fee for donations given with an American Express card
Read more
Raised to date by 11 people
 of  $50,000
Campaign Ended

My Story

It is from a desperate and vulnerable place that we are reaching out and sharing our story here.

 

Adoption was on my heart even as a young girl. It was something I had always felt led to do. After marrying my husband, who was also adopted, the desire grew  to bless another child the way his parents blessed him.After struggling to grow our family the traditional way (multiple miscarriages and burying 2 babies).The time seemed right to begin the foster care process. We felt Gods hand as many doors  opened for us during the foster and adoption process that we never asked or expected !

 

In November of 2016 Kaitlyn became a permanent part of our family.

We were so delighted to have found ‘our  missing piece’!  The way the Lord had worked through it all we felt confirmed that she was meant to be a part of our family.

 

 

Kaitlyn came to us as an adorable, independent and strong willed 2.5 year old. From the moment the social worker handed her to me at the front door, I vowed  I would do everything I could to help her heal from the trauma of being separated from her birth family. Little did we know then, just how much trauma, abuse and neglect had already occurred and how it would affect her ability to connect with others. We quickly learned that parenting through trauma and attachment issues was very different than typical parenting. For years we tried to show her love the best we knew how and time and again we were left wondering what we were  doing so wrong? We finally realized that, due to her early experiences she learned that people simply cannot be trusted. And that, of course, impacts every other area of her life and consequently the rest of our family’s as well. Due to escalating behaviors and the toll it took on the family we needed to make the heartwrenching decision to temporarily place her with a trusted family member. But still, this is doing nothing to effectively address the root issue. Underneath the layers of hurt we can see a bright and beautiful child with so much potential. A child we are willing to fight for, but how?  How can we take back what the enemy has stollen from her and change the current trajectory of her life?

 

After hours, turning to days, weeks, months and even years of research and learning all I could about attachment  and trauma. It constantly kept coming back to the same thing; There is some-but not nearly enough-help out there and all of it comes with a high cost. Mental and behavioral health is the largest unmet need for kiddos from hard places. After extensive research and talking with many others we were told of a faith based, therapeutic school that has been highly regarded as having been very beneficial by others who had children there. And, they have an opening!! Finally, we began to feel hope again!! Our tears of despair and frustration were exchanged for tears gratefulness! There is HOPE for her! And then we learned the cost….. To start, it  would cost us approximately $10,000 and then  almost $4,000 per month. Add this to the responsibilities of raising a young family, and it feels like a lot. But, what may happen if she doesn’t have the chance to heal? It has been a desperate, hopeless feeling to know our child needs more than we ourselves can give, and to not be able to offer her the chance.

 

That’s when we learned about Lifesong! ♥️ What a blessing they have been! Thank you Jesus! 🙌 Lifesong has agreed to partner with us by  providing a matching grant up to $5,000!!! Every  dollar that gets donated will be matched by Lifesong up to $5,000!! Additionally, every donation of $50  or more will qualify for a tax deductible receipt. If, by Gods miraculous providence more funds are given than we need, we would use them to help fund another childs adoption or provide post adoption care for a family in need. It’s not without difficulty to put this out there and ask for help. We understand  that you also have other responsibilities and concerns. However, If you are feeling led to give to our cause, we would humbly and graciously accept.

If at this time funds do not allow space for you to contribute, we ask for  your continued prayers for wisdom and guidance as we navigate the limited options we have available to us and look to God for leading to make other difficult, crucial, decisions to best support the rest of our family.

I want to take a moment here to share a little about Lifesong For Orphans. Lifesong is a Christian organization that is dedicated to mobilizing the Church to care for the orphans. They help by offering matching grants for families wishing to adopt, post adoptive care, loans and fundraising ideas, as well as supporting orphans around the globe thru various programs! I hope you will take a moment to browse their website and see how they are impacting the world thru the children and families they serve!

And, If you are still with me after all of this, Thank you!  I urge you to consider one more thing, how can YOU help the many children needing a home? Either as a foster/adoptive parent, respite provider, therapist, etc.or just generally supporting those who already are. The need is tremendous.

 

…Truely I say unto you, inasmuch as you have done it to one of the least of these, My brothers, You have done it unto me… Matthew 25:40

 

Thank you so much for caring, God Bless – from the Wises


STRIPE charges an online processing fee (2.2% +.30 USD per transaction)*. Your donations will be decreased by this amount. You may also send a check payable to “Lifesong for Orphans”. In the memo line please write “Wise 90414”, to ensure it is credited to our account. Please mail to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 9, Gridley, IL 61744.

Lifesong has been blessed with partners who underwrite all U.S. administrative and fundraising costs (TMG Foundation and other partners). That means 100% of your donation will go directly to the adoption.

  • In following IRS guidelines, your donation is to Lifesong for Orphans. This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor’s suggested use.
  • Lifesong is a 501(c)3 tax exempt organization. Individual donations of $50 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt. Receipts for donations under $50 will gladly be sent upon request.
  • *3.5% fee for donations given with an American Express card
Read more

Thank you for your continued support

December 16, 2024

It’s been  awhile  since I’ve updated our story. I really wish I could  give a delightful story of redemption, healing and the hope of reunification  but that’s not part of our story, …yet.

It’s been a challenging year of grief, loss, disappointment  and heartache. Maybe someday we can share more but for now it all is too fresh to share publicly.

 We have recently  sold our home that my husband had put many years of love and sweat equity into building and providing for us,  we have picked up extra work and made multiple other sacrifices in an effort to be able to better provide for Kaitlyn’s therapy and the needs of the rest of the family. At the same time our hearts broke time and again with the harsh realization  of how sick our child is and  knowing  that, short of a miracle, she will need extensive  therapy to be able to heal and function in a typical  setting. In spite of all this we are incredibly grateful for the support  we’ve been given so far and the outstanding care she has received.  While the  $4,000 a month feels like an overwhelming  commitment we know that most places providing this level of care are much more.  Given her level of trauma and our family  dynamics it is crucial  for her to have a safe place to hopefully heal which also will allow the rest of our family to heal. 

If you are feeling  led to pray for our family’s  healing or share our financial burden we would be most grateful. 

And as the opportunity arises we wish to help other families  in similar situations as we have been  helped. Thank you for caring.  

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Thank you for caring and sharing!

October 4, 2023

I want to take a moment to thank each of you for your sharing and caring and continued support! All of it – your emotional, physical and financial support  has been such a blessing. Making this decision  was not easy but We consider it a privilege to be able to have Kaitlyn enrolled in this program. She has been there for almost 3 weeks now. We know it is going to be a long hard journey for her and for us and the rollercoaster of emotions involved has been wild.😉 But the relief of knowing that she is with people who understand and can give her the help she needs has been a tremendous weight off our shoulders! We are anticipating this could take  up to 2 (or more) years to graduate  the program. I am excited to see how God is going to perform the healing in our family and help provide  the necessary funding.Thank you for joining us on this journey.  God Bless

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Comments

$3,000

Carolyn

Jul 24, 2024

$1,000

Abe & Grace

Jul 10, 2024

“Praying your family will receive healing!”

$50

Marcia

Jun 7, 2024

“Prayers and hugs!”

$75

Jackie

Jun 6, 2024

“We love you guys and will continue praying and believing for you to be reunited upon Kaitlyn’s healing.”

$1,000

Sheldon

Feb 5, 2024

$55

Christa

Nov 24, 2023

$200

Martin

Oct 1, 2023

“Best wishes on your daughter’s healing! I’m so thankful God has provided you with a good place for her to go! Many hugs and love to your family”

$300

Hidden

Sep 22, 2023

“Blessings to you all on the journey”

$200

Hidden

Sep 1, 2023

$50

Marcus and Cindy

Aug 26, 2023

“Many prayers for your sweet girl and your beautiful family”

$100

Melissa

Aug 26, 2023