This verse has become an anchor for our family over the past year as peace and joy seemed far off and hard to find. We keep reminding ourselves of two things:
1. Peace & joy come from trusting God.
2. We are going to get through this.
We were married in 2004 and anticipated starting a family toward the end of graduate school. After experiencing unexplained infertility, God moved our hearts towards adoption. In 2012 we adopted our two sons from Ethiopia. Our daughter joined our family in 2018 from China. Our family makes very conspicuous entrances..not just because we are multiracial, but we are also a taller-than-average bunch!
Every adoption is born from loss, and many adopted children come from hard places with hard beginnings. Birth to age five is a critical time in the development of a child’s brain. Our son Emet joined our family around 4.5 years old and while we don’t know details about those early years, we know enough. He was diagnosed by medical professionals with Complex Developmental Trauma Disorder (more commonly known as Reactive Attachment Disorder or RAD).
Over the years, we have exhausted every available resource at our disposal attempting to provide Emet with quality post-adoption trauma-informed care…Support Groups, Trust-Based Relational Intervention, Equine Therapy, Psych-educational Evaluation, Individual Counseling, Medication Management, Family Counseling… you name it, we have probably researched it and tried to access it.
Despite all these outpatient interventions, during adolescence, Emet’s concerning behaviors continued to escalate and increase in frequency. This is fairly common for individuals with early childhood trauma, but knowing that hasn’t made any of this any easier. Emet ran away from home nine times in six months, sometimes for 12-, 18-, and even 37- hours, and his inability to adequately assess danger became concerning to us and his medical providers. As his behaviors escalated so did the recommended levels of care. He was admitted to two intensive outpatient programs, three partial hospitalization programs, one 30-day residential treatment facility, and four acute inpatient hospitalizations in four months. He was even hospitalized the entire week of Christmas 2023! Insurance was a hurdle at every turn, sometimes downgrading his level of care before professionals felt he was ready. Countless residential treatment facilities began denying him admission due to aggression and elopement risk (running away).
Our family has been navigating almost weekly crises for too long. It has taken a toll on every household member, our health, our marriage, and our finances. Carrying for a loved one with mental illness has impacted every area of our lives. It became clearer and clearer to us that what was being offered to us by insurance, in-state providers, and law enforcement was not only NOT helping, but seemed to be making things worse. Many times on this journey, we have felt completely hopeless.
Hopeless…until we found a therapeutic boarding school located on a Caribbean island that specializes in treating adolescents who have experienced early childhood trauma. A large percentage of their student body are international adoptees like our son who have been battling Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). They offer a holistic brain-based approach and a staff trained by well-respected attachment specialist Nancy Thomas. This school was the first place to offer HOPE for our son and his future!
Because we love Emet, believe healing IS possible, and trust God’s love for Emet and our entire family, we have enrolled Emet in this Christian therapeutic boarding school specialized in treating RAD.
Sending Emet to this therapeutic boarding school is a great financial commitment, but it is his best chance at healing and hope for a bright future. If he had cancer, we would not hesitate to look for the best treatments even if they were costly or in other countries. The school we have chosen to partner with in our son’s healing is significantly less than any similar option in the States.
We transported him safely at the end of May 2024 and have received updates on his adjustment. Honestly, we are feeling the weirdest mix of grief and relief right now. Grief because we miss him and will feel a void in our home and family until he returns. Relief because he is safe and we can now all focus on healing.
How can you help?
1. Pray for Emet and the rest of our family to experience physical, emotional & spiritual healing in the coming months.
2. Give to help provide Emet with high-quality post-adoption care.
Here’s a breakdown of Emet’s treatment expenses:
- Enrollment Fee: $3,500 one-time
- Tuition: $4,000 per month (includes room & board, therapies such as brain mapping & neurofeedback, 24/7 staff supervision, on-site 24/7 security)
- Psychiatric Exams: TBD (out-of-network for insurance)
- Medication: TBD (out-of-network for insurance)
Lifesong for Orphans graciously provided us with a direct grant of $5,000 to help us immediately enroll Emet in his long-term treatment program. Additionally, Lifesong provides this platform at no cost to us for sharing Emet’s need and allowing friends and family to make tax-deductible gifts. Lifesong is even matching the first $10,000 donated on this platform!!
Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. It’s humbling to ask for help and to share such intimate details of our struggles, but our love compels us to set aside pride or risk of ridicule to do what we believe is best for our beloved son.
Love,
Brandon & Zanna
Lifesong Account: Wallace 90476
*Any amount donated above the need for Emet’s counseling and mental health treatment will go towards counseling expenses for the rest of our family.
STRIPE charges an online processing fee (2.2% +.30 USD per transaction)*. Your donations will be decreased by this amount. You may also send a check payable to “Lifesong for Orphans”. In the memo line please write “Wallace 90476” to ensure it is credited to our account. Please mail to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 9, Gridley, IL 61744.
Lifesong has been blessed with partners who underwrite all U.S. administrative and fundraising costs (TMG Foundation and other partners). That means 100% of your donation will go directly to the adoption.
- In following IRS guidelines, your donation is to Lifesong for Orphans. This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor’s suggested use.
- Lifesong is a 501(c)3 tax exempt organization. Individual donations of $50 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt. Receipts for donations under $50 will gladly be sent upon request.
- *3.5% fee for donations given with an American Express card
