Hi, my name is Charlotte. I am a single mom to three beautiful, adopted kids and I need your help. Asking for help has always been hard for me but my daughter needs services that I just can’t financially afford on my own. My daughter needs a therapeutic residential treatment program that will provide her a safe setting to heal and overcome the trauma of her childhood. I believe the details of my daughter’s story is hers to tell but I am going to try to tell our journey in a way that still respects her privacy.
Let me start where our forever family journey started. I was in Wendy’s parking lot after a late-night home visit talking to my mom on the phone. She was telling me what was going on with a family member and his kids. I said, “if they need a place to go, I will take them” and this is exactly what happened. Even though they were related to me we had never met until I flew states away to visit them in 2016. In 2017, what was going to be a spring break stay, turned into being a permanent stay and so in 2017 I instantly became a mom of three beautiful children, ages 2,3, and 7. I joke that everything in my life changed except for my single status. I bought a house to accommodate everyone, I bought a new car as mine was overheating often and small, I changed church locations that provided children’s ministry, my mom moved in to help, and I changed job positions at work so I wouldn’t be on call or have late visits. God worked all these things out in perfect timing, and I wouldn’t change my decision for anything.
Adoption is messy and when kids have been through trauma it is hard, exhausting at times, and left me feeling overwhelmed and wondering if I made the right choice. I know I did, and I leaned on my faith and close friends to get me through. My daughter being the oldest had more years of growing up with instability and seeing unsafe things occur around her. She was the first to call me mom and, in the beginning, things seemed to be going okay. As the weeks and years continued things just kept getting harder. Attaching to each other was hard, behaviors were hard to understand, the lying and lack of taking responsibility was at a high. She had weekly therapy sessions, a counselor at school, and people in the church who loved her. She had stability and consistency in the home but when she was in 4th grade Covid hit and 5th grade we homeschooled. Those years were hard for everyone. I knew she was going to need to go to school for middle school and God worked it out to where she could go to a private Christian school with small class sizes and caring faculty. Middle school is a tough age for everyone I feel like but the behaviors that were occurring just continued to get bigger and more dangerous. As a result, I could see a change in her siblings’ behaviors for the worse. The teachers tried to support her, the administration tried to work with her, church youth leaders tried to connect with her, and her soccer coach tried to mentor her. Nothing seemed to be making a difference, and I knew something needed to change. In the summer of 2023, I made the hard decision to enroll my daughter in a residential family like program that my work had to offer in another state. She had caring house parents, a safe place to live, she was learning skills, receiving therapy, going to school, and for a few months’ things were going great. Then things changed and unsafe behaviors started to show up and there were times I didn’t know where my daughter was. Eventually in 2024 behaviors had escalated so much that the program said she needed a higher level of care. She was able to move into a short-term program they had to allow me time to find a higher level of care for her and thankfully insurance paid for her short-term stay. I hired an education consultant to help with finding placements and I was able to get my daughter into a Wilderness Therapy program, insurance wouldn’t pay for this service, so I am paying out of pocket. Her time is almost up as this was a two-month agreement to stabilize and obtain a comprehensive mental health assessment which has happened. I knew she would enjoy the wilderness aspect, and so I agreed to pay out of pocket which has used up almost all my savings and I now have credit card debt as I am using a credit card for the first time in over 20 years. It has been recommended by the psychologist who evaluated her as well as the therapist who is working with her that a longer-term residential placement that has a relational approach is needed to support the attachment difficulties she has because of the past trauma in her childhood. This makes sense now on why true/healthy connection with others has been so difficult.
Residential programs cost anywhere from 17,000-24,000 a MONTH. This is why I am reaching out for help. Insurance is a long process and there is no guarantee that her Medicaid provider will agree to the placement recommendations that will best suit her needs. My daughter deserves the chance to get the services she needs so that she can heal and learn how to rewire the parts of the brain that deal with attachment. My daughter is so talented. She can draw/paint so well, she is creative, and she can pick up almost any instrument and play it. All the adults she has worked with say she is likeable and that she has leadership qualities. I know it will be a long road but with the right support she will do great things and see that she is deserving of love, that she can love others, and that she has a purpose in this world.
If you feel lead to donate any amount, I want to say Thank you! Thank you for being a hero in my daughter’s story. Lifesong For Orphans has agreed to a $8,000 match which means, any donation will be doubled until 8,000 dollars is reached! If you are unable to give, I understand, and you can still be a hero in my daughters’ life by praying for her and praying for the financial support so she can get the services that are exactly what she needs.
I can’t share her picture, as again her story is hers to share, but I can share some of her artwork from over the years.
Thank you and may God show favor on you and your family.
Blessings,
Charlotte
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