Ten Years+ Long… But This Is God’s Story

Lydia Leggett
Lydia Leggett Canon City, Colorado

Update: We have been blessed with a $4,500.00 matching grant from Lifesong for Orphans. That means that every $1.00 you donate becomes $2.00 toward this adventure of bringing the Littlest Leggett home.

To those who gave through our other crowdfunding page, before we received this surprise grant: THANK YOU. Your gifts will still be used to help fund our adoption, even though they don’t qualify for this match. 

—–

One thing we’ve learned: Everyone’s story is different. When we got married almost 11 years ago, we figured we’d do what it seemed like everyone did. We would adjust for a while to married life, maybe get out of some school debt, figure out our jobs, then start a family. Boom, boom, boom.

Two years into marriage, God moved us to southern Colorado to be part of a new church. As we got to know that new family, we made note of how common, accepted, and enjoyed adoption is. So many families within our church are formed by adoption. And as a result, we as a church have a better vision of our own adoption as children of God. Little did we know that God placed us directly here for his greater reasons than we could have guessed.

As the years went by, and people stopped asking when we were going to have children, it became clear that perhaps God selected this particular church family in order to walk us through the hardship of childlessness in a very specific, we’ve-walked-in-those-shoes kind of way.

Fast forward eight years, and we have been tested, tried, interviewed, and evaluated by a wonderful agency called Hope’s Promise, and we are now in the waiting pool to be selected by a birth mom. We are praying all the time for our little one, who is as yet unknown!

Adoption is impossible without the support of the many — from funding to raising children, we recognize that in God’s providence, it really does take a village. Would you join us in prayer, in waiting, and in finances?

Thank you for your prayers and love!


STRIPE charges an online processing fee (2.2% +.30 USD per transaction). Your donations will be decreased by this amount. You may also send a check payable to “Lifesong for Orphans”. In the memo line please write “Leggett 08584”, to ensure it is credited to our account. Please mail to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 9, Gridley, IL 61744.

Lifesong has been blessed with partners who underwrite all U.S. administrative and fundraising costs (TMG Foundation and other partners). That means 100% of your donation will go directly to the adoption.

  • In following IRS guidelines, your donation is to Lifesong for Orphans. This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor’s suggested use.
  • Lifesong is a 501(c)3 tax exempt organization. Individual donations of $50 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt. Receipts for donations under $50 will gladly be sent upon request.
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Raised to date by 20 people
 of  $10,000
3 days left

My Story

Update: We have been blessed with a $4,500.00 matching grant from Lifesong for Orphans. That means that every $1.00 you donate becomes $2.00 toward this adventure of bringing the Littlest Leggett home.

To those who gave through our other crowdfunding page, before we received this surprise grant: THANK YOU. Your gifts will still be used to help fund our adoption, even though they don’t qualify for this match. 

—–

One thing we’ve learned: Everyone’s story is different. When we got married almost 11 years ago, we figured we’d do what it seemed like everyone did. We would adjust for a while to married life, maybe get out of some school debt, figure out our jobs, then start a family. Boom, boom, boom.

Two years into marriage, God moved us to southern Colorado to be part of a new church. As we got to know that new family, we made note of how common, accepted, and enjoyed adoption is. So many families within our church are formed by adoption. And as a result, we as a church have a better vision of our own adoption as children of God. Little did we know that God placed us directly here for his greater reasons than we could have guessed.

As the years went by, and people stopped asking when we were going to have children, it became clear that perhaps God selected this particular church family in order to walk us through the hardship of childlessness in a very specific, we’ve-walked-in-those-shoes kind of way.

Fast forward eight years, and we have been tested, tried, interviewed, and evaluated by a wonderful agency called Hope’s Promise, and we are now in the waiting pool to be selected by a birth mom. We are praying all the time for our little one, who is as yet unknown!

Adoption is impossible without the support of the many — from funding to raising children, we recognize that in God’s providence, it really does take a village. Would you join us in prayer, in waiting, and in finances?

Thank you for your prayers and love!


STRIPE charges an online processing fee (2.2% +.30 USD per transaction). Your donations will be decreased by this amount. You may also send a check payable to “Lifesong for Orphans”. In the memo line please write “Leggett 08584”, to ensure it is credited to our account. Please mail to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 9, Gridley, IL 61744.

Lifesong has been blessed with partners who underwrite all U.S. administrative and fundraising costs (TMG Foundation and other partners). That means 100% of your donation will go directly to the adoption.

  • In following IRS guidelines, your donation is to Lifesong for Orphans. This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor’s suggested use.
  • Lifesong is a 501(c)3 tax exempt organization. Individual donations of $50 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt. Receipts for donations under $50 will gladly be sent upon request.
Read more

A year in…

July 1, 2020

We have now been in the waiting pool with Hope’s Promise for a full year. Paperwork has been updated (per state regulations), a small update fee paid, a check-up interview with our caseworker. Those are the easy parts, though they also function as tangible marks of the passage of time.

The harder things are the continued wait with no end in sight, the surge of hope when we say yes to a profile notification (asking permission to show our book to a birthmother), followed by a deep plunging into sadness all over again when we are not the family chosen. The highs and lows are very real. (Perhaps this is what my dear friends who struggle with continued negative pregnancy tests feel like. I’ve walked that road only a couple of times. It does hurt to hope.)

The hard also includes learning to walk in kindness, compassion, joy, with those whose stories are going differently. New babies are born and celebrated. Baby showers attended (when I can be in a good place emotionally and not make it all about me and “my lack.” True confession). There are days when it seems that our lives are continually on hold while the rest of the world keeps charging ahead, making plans and having them work out.

The hard, though, is also deeply good. There is a place of utter helplessness in adoption — in the waiting and, of course, in the fulfillment of desires (when that happens). We don’t put on rosey glasses and think, “Everything will be fine, in-order, and make sense, if only we could bring baby home.” We aren’t that naive anymore. Our helplessness, which Paul Miller calls the key to prayer, is so abundantly clear. We cannot coerce anyone into viewing our profile book and choosing to meet us. We cannot convince them that we would make a good family for their child to grow up in. Quite literally, nothing will happen if God doesn’t do it himself. 

This week, we received a notification — not that a birthmother was looking into making an adoption plan, but actually that baby girl had already been born, and was in the hospital just 45 minutes north of us. We said yes, show our book! We tried hard to guard our hearts — but hope surged. This little one could be our daughter. It made so much sense. We were close by, we could come at the drop of a hat, both birth parents seemed ahead enough on the road of decision-making that they’d relinquish parental rights without difficulty. We had just come back from a time away camping, just the two of us. We were not overseas this week, as had been the plan earlier in the year before coronavirus. This. made. sense. 

And yet, less than 24 hours later, we were told that another family had been chosen, called, and a meeting scheduled. This little one is not ours.

Then this morning, the oft-quoted Proverbs 3:5-6 was part of my daily reading. You know the one, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” 

Let’s continue on… “Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.” 

Even as I pray in helplessness, as my eyes are eagerly open, expectant, hopeful, for God’s movement in this lengthy story of creating our family — a place of (hopefully) growing faith and dependence — I realized that my trust was marred by an assumption that I knew how the story would go. I assume that because I get to pray, and see God move in real time and space, that as soon as something happens, I know exactly how it will end up. This seems silly to say. But, as I trust in the Lord — and try to do so with my whole heart — I still lean on my own understanding, my own ability to “see” all that’s happening, to understand how the pieces fit together. When something seems to pop in the story, I assume I know what’s next. 

Huh. What a heart. “Be not wise in your own eyes,” assuming you know what God is up to!, “fear the Lord and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.”

So as we grieved yesterday, again, we found ourselves turning to the Lord, longing to abide. 

He is faithful.

See, hard can be deeply good.

Thank you for your continued prayer for us.

 

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Our Matching Grant has been…matched!

September 30, 2019

THANK YOU. We cannot express how thankful we are that you gave to our story through Lifesong, and we have met our matching grant. Thank you, thank you, thank you. (The $4,500 “offline donation” in our story reflects the match from Lifesong.)

Everything beyond the match will still be helpful in our adoption journey, and as we wait to be matched in a whole different way — matched with a specific birthmother. 

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Why a private agency?

September 30, 2019

People have a lot of questions when you announce you’re adopting.

It’s completely understandable. By the time someone announces they’re adopting, they’ve usually been through a lot of informational meetings, interviews, paperwork, and training (16 hours in our case). Books and articles have been purchased and purused, if not entirely digested yet. In the case of those without biological kids, there isn’t experience to go on — so we look to friends, family, and those books. In the case of people with biological children welcoming an adoptive kiddo into their circle, their experience, we heard, is actually less helpful than they might think. You see, adoption has brokenness at its root. Adopting is good, and beautiful, and reflective of God’s heart… yes. All of those things. But for the little one, it starts with a broken connection with the birthmother they have known throughout their early growth and development. Research shows that attachment breaks even at so young an age, before even being cognitively aware, affects children in many ways. 

There’s a lot more to talk about there, but back to the many questions.

We’ve gotten the question a couple of times: Why does it cost so much?

That always begs another question: Why didn’t you just go through your local department of child welfare? There are lots of children who need forever families through the foster system.

These are valid. Let me work backwards.

We have dear friends who have five kids who came to them through foster care. They are incredible people. We sat down with them, learned from them, and realized that at this stage in our lives, we are not called to foster care. We fully expect that God could change that. These kids are made in God’s image and worthy of care and a home. So it is a hard and humbling thing to admit that some of their struggles and backgrounds feel, at this time, too big for us to take on. (We’ve said it before that everything about adoption feels so vulnerable. Admitting weakness is part of that.)

And so, we selected a private agency, which means it’s expensive. Why does it cost so much? We are convinced that a faithful, Christian organization that cares for birthmothers as well as their children and the adoptive families is worth its weight. Hope’s Promise looks for decidedly Christian families. That doesn’t necessarily mean that birthmoms coming in believe the same things. Our agency cares for these women in precious ways, from counseling — to see if they could indeed parent their child — to help in making an adoption plan when they feel ready to do that, to presenting them with the agency’s home-study approved families, to post-placement support (after baby has been placed in the home of the selected adoptive family). These caseworkers care well for the birthfamily. 

They also care well for us, investing in and checking on us as waiting families. They provide not only state-required training and resources, but also see to the legal requirements to ensure that baby is taken care of and protected. They are available to us throughout the process and after placement, offering support. Sure, they are held accountable to whatever state and federal adoption regulations there are — and they see to those thoroughly. But they know they are also accountable to God, who cares for the orphan and the widow. 

We’ve heard that 50 years ago, you could adopt for $100. What a world — we can’t even imagine. But we also are willing to bet that as adoption has become more and more appreciated and common, the process is (hopefully) more thorough and careful of all parties concerned.

We are open to questions, of course, because we know adoption is a unknown path to many people. As a close friend, who has three beautiful daughters they have adopted, says, “There are lots of opportunities to show grace in the adoption process.”  Much faith, hope, love, and grace is needed throughout these steps, and in this waiting.

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Comments

$300

Hidden

May 1, 2020

$100

Don

Sep 30, 2019

“Love and prayers to you and your family”

$4,500

Offline Donation

Sep 25, 2019

$50

Rachel

Sep 23, 2019

“We are praying for the Littlest Leggett!”

$50

Jill and Jeremy

Sep 21, 2019

“We are so excited for this next part of your journey, Lydia and Aaron! Can't wait to see the many ways that God is glorified through your story!”

$2,640

John L

Sep 21, 2019

“Glad to do it? :)”

$200

Mary

Sep 19, 2019

$100

Hidden

Sep 18, 2019

“God bless!”

$50

Laura and Frank

Sep 16, 2019

“Love you Lydia and Aaron! We're excited for what God is up to in you and through you!”

$400

Judd and Donna

Sep 13, 2019

“I have a very special place in my heart for you both as Judd was adopted. I pray that God's perfect timing for your child to come in to your lives happens in the blink of an eye. Love to you both!”

$200

A Margaret

Sep 13, 2019

“Love you!”

$100

Nathan and Christa

Sep 11, 2019

$30

Bethany

Sep 10, 2019

“Blessings!”

$30

Kim

Sep 8, 2019

“Praying for you and the Littlest Leggett.”

$100

Hidden

Sep 8, 2019

$50

Greg

Sep 7, 2019

“May God bless you and your future child through this adventure. - Greg and Beth”

$200

Mary

Sep 6, 2019

$100

Hidden

Sep 6, 2019

“We are so excited for you guys!!”

$100

Don & Linda

Sep 6, 2019

“God bless 🙏”

$200

Hidden

Sep 6, 2019

“Excited for the new addition to your family! :)”