Smith Family Adoption

Iris Smith
Iris Smith Rock Hill, South Carolina

We decided to start our family in September of 2012 and thought we would get pregnant right away. We read books and debated names and frequented every pregnancy/baby website we could find. We would tell ourselves that this was the month and we would soon be parents. When the tests came back negative we would say that we would get pregnant next month, then in the next few months. We read statistics that said 85% of couples get pregnant within a year and thought surely it won't take that long.  It has now been a long five and a half years since those optimistic early days. We have visited doctors, been poked and prodded, we tried fertility drugs, and failed procedures. Tests always came back negative and the statistics looked bleak. The last procedure was the hardest. It was the last of the relatively noninvasive procedures we could try before we would have to progress to IVF. We had high hopes at first due to the fact that we had a new doctor and scans showed twice as many eggs forming as the previous attempt. We soon learned that this attempt too was unsuccessful. 

Though we did not know it yet, we were at a crossroads. We had decided to wait a few months before starting IVF since Iris had a new job. Looking at the expense of IVF and the low probability of success was discouraging, to say the least. It was at this time that we began to seriously consider adoption.

Both adoption and IVF have similar prices. However, a couple undergoing IVF has about a 30% chance of success under the best of things. Many couples have to try multiple attempts before success. We cannot afford this. Adoption has a very uncertain time frame. A domestic infant adoption like ours can take months or even years but the chances of a successful adoption are relatively high. The question we had to ask ourselves is what is important to us, having a biological child or being parents?

We decided that being parents meant more to us than having biological children. Before infertility, we had even discussed the option and toyed with the idea of having a combination of biological and adopted children. Now we know that, barring a miracle, the biological children may never arrive, but that does not mean we cannot have our adopted children. Somewhere there is or will be a child who desperately needs parents just as much as we desperately need a child. We can provide that child a loving home.

For a long time, we could not understand why we were denied parenthood when we felt such a strong calling to be parents, but everything happens for a reason. Though he/she may not arrive in the way we expected, we will have the child we were always meant to have. Notwithstanding the first time in a long time,
we have hope


STRIPE charges an online processing fee (2.2% +.30 USD per transaction). Your donations will be decreased by this amount. You may also send a check payable to “Lifesong for Orphans”. In the memo line please write “Smith 08765”, to ensure it is credited to our account. Please mail to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744.

Lifesong has been blessed with partners who underwrite all U.S. administrative and fundraising costs (TMG Foundation and other partners). That means 100% of your donation will go directly to the adoption.

  • In following IRS guidelines, your donation is to Lifesong for Orphans. This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor’s suggested use.
  • Lifesong is a 501(c)3 tax exempt organization. Individual donations of $50 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt. Receipts for donations under $50 will gladly be sent upon request.
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Raised to date by 0 people
 of  $4,000
Campaign Ended

My Story

We decided to start our family in September of 2012 and thought we would get pregnant right away. We read books and debated names and frequented every pregnancy/baby website we could find. We would tell ourselves that this was the month and we would soon be parents. When the tests came back negative we would say that we would get pregnant next month, then in the next few months. We read statistics that said 85% of couples get pregnant within a year and thought surely it won't take that long.  It has now been a long five and a half years since those optimistic early days. We have visited doctors, been poked and prodded, we tried fertility drugs, and failed procedures. Tests always came back negative and the statistics looked bleak. The last procedure was the hardest. It was the last of the relatively noninvasive procedures we could try before we would have to progress to IVF. We had high hopes at first due to the fact that we had a new doctor and scans showed twice as many eggs forming as the previous attempt. We soon learned that this attempt too was unsuccessful. 

Though we did not know it yet, we were at a crossroads. We had decided to wait a few months before starting IVF since Iris had a new job. Looking at the expense of IVF and the low probability of success was discouraging, to say the least. It was at this time that we began to seriously consider adoption.

Both adoption and IVF have similar prices. However, a couple undergoing IVF has about a 30% chance of success under the best of things. Many couples have to try multiple attempts before success. We cannot afford this. Adoption has a very uncertain time frame. A domestic infant adoption like ours can take months or even years but the chances of a successful adoption are relatively high. The question we had to ask ourselves is what is important to us, having a biological child or being parents?

We decided that being parents meant more to us than having biological children. Before infertility, we had even discussed the option and toyed with the idea of having a combination of biological and adopted children. Now we know that, barring a miracle, the biological children may never arrive, but that does not mean we cannot have our adopted children. Somewhere there is or will be a child who desperately needs parents just as much as we desperately need a child. We can provide that child a loving home.

For a long time, we could not understand why we were denied parenthood when we felt such a strong calling to be parents, but everything happens for a reason. Though he/she may not arrive in the way we expected, we will have the child we were always meant to have. Notwithstanding the first time in a long time,
we have hope


STRIPE charges an online processing fee (2.2% +.30 USD per transaction). Your donations will be decreased by this amount. You may also send a check payable to “Lifesong for Orphans”. In the memo line please write “Smith 08765”, to ensure it is credited to our account. Please mail to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744.

Lifesong has been blessed with partners who underwrite all U.S. administrative and fundraising costs (TMG Foundation and other partners). That means 100% of your donation will go directly to the adoption.

  • In following IRS guidelines, your donation is to Lifesong for Orphans. This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor’s suggested use.
  • Lifesong is a 501(c)3 tax exempt organization. Individual donations of $50 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt. Receipts for donations under $50 will gladly be sent upon request.
Read more

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