We are incredibly excited to announce that we have begun the process of adopting from Colombia!!!! The Lord put adoption on our hearts early in our marriage, but it always felt too overwhelming. As we navigated our journey, we realized that it was a long winding road to where God always wanted us. As we looked into adoption, two needs jumped out at us. The need for older child adoption and sibling adoptions. After learning of these needs, we are excited to announce that we are pursuing the adoption of a sibling set that includes older children!
With that in mind we have an awesome announcement. We have been awarded $7500 in matching grants from JFRH Adoption Fund + Lifesong for Orphans
As we walk through this journey, we wanted to ask if you would consider partnering with us in two areas:
1. Thoughts and prayers for our future children and us as we navigate this process.
2. Financial partnership. Our adoption costs will be slightly higher than the average as we are adopting multiple children. Colombia requires us to travel to Colombia and stay there for 3-5 weeks as the adoption is finalized.
In the summer of 2014, our path to being parents began. After four years of being married and “just us,” we felt ready and ecstatic to start our family. We started with incredible excitement and giddiness at the prospect of becoming parents. Being able to rock a baby, buying baby clothes, watching them grow up, fostering a healthy love of all things sports and Disney. In month 1, we were ready for the positive test. Hmmmm ok, maybe it will take a few months.
After two years, the pain and ache of constant hope and then subsequent loss of hope was taking its toll. Naturally, the thoughts began to creep in. “What’s so wrong with us?” “Are we going to be bad parents? Is God saving the world from our awfulness?”. Every month brought another confirmation of what felt like our failure. One day in 2016, Ashley walked out of the bathroom. “You ready to be a father?”. Elation. Excitement. A weight off our shoulders. What we had hoped, wanted, and prayed for for two years, was finally a reality. Shortly after this exciting day, there were some concerning signs, and two weeks later, Ashley miscarried.
Walking through the incredible highs of a pregnancy so desperately wanted, and then the debilitating lows of losing that pregnancy is unspeakably brutal. Despite the grief and sorrow following that loss, we immediately started trying again. This time, the wait would be much longer. Again, every passing month became another reminder of our loss. Friends, coworkers, older siblings, younger siblings, and former students were getting pregnant. After six years, we were emotional to the point of being empty. There was no try anymore. It was like running a marathon; your legs give out, and there is nothing to do but sit on the side of the road as all the other runners pass by. Then, against all expectations, Ashley once again discovered she was pregnant. Instead of giddiness and excitement, we both felt a sense of minute hopefulness against an unrelenting wave of apprehension. Unfortunately, the hopefulness was fleeting, and we miscarried for a 2nd time.
After two miscarriages and eight years of trying, we did not feel emotionally, mentally, or physically ready to carry on the fight. We had looked into domestic adoption the previous summer and got to the home study before we both felt uneasy. Like it just wasn’t what God was calling us to do. We looked into IVF, and the day before we were set to begin, the same thing happened. Uneasiness and a lack of peace that this wasn’t where God was calling us either. Maybe we would just be the Uncle and Aunt who love their nieces and nephews, and everyone wonders, “why didn’t they ever have kids?”.
In March of 2022, we were at Ben’s parent’s house in California, and the whole Murphy family was there. 2 Grandparents, four kids, four married-into-the-family kids, and eight grandchildren. After everyone had gone to bed, we sat in the living room discussing Badger and Kristen’s (Ben’s eldest brother and sister-in-law) international adoption from Kyrgyzstan. As we sat alone later that night, the same thought was on both of our minds, making little sense to either of us. “I feel like God is calling us to an international adoption”……” I have the exact same feeling.” We pulled up the possible countries, and immediately both felt called to Colombia. Before, we had felt unease and apprehension; now, it was a feeling of purpose and calling. By May 2022, we had been accepted by an adoption agency and had begun the process of adopting from Colombia.
We are about to send our dossier to Colombia! This is the last major step before matching occurs. Throughout the process, we saw two significant needs in adoption, particularly in Colombia: older children and sibling groups. There are hundreds of millions of orphaned children across the World. In many cases, younger, healthy children without siblings are the children adopted. Older children are not adopted and often age out, while sibling groups are usually split up, so the younger children have a higher chance of being adopted. As we learned these facts, our hearts were again pulled to this calling, which is why we are pursuing the adoption of a sibling group that includes older children!!
We currently have a letter of intent submitted to pursue the adoption of a sibling set of 4 children. We have not been officially matched, but we are incredibly excited to see what God has in store for us and our family.
STRIPE charges an online processing fee (2.2% +.30 USD per transaction)*. Your donations will be decreased by this amount. You may also send a check payable to “Lifesong for Orphans”. In the memo line please write “Murphy 10514”, to ensure it is credited to our account. Please mail to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 9, Gridley, IL 61744.
Lifesong has been blessed with partners who underwrite all U.S. administrative and fundraising costs (TMG Foundation and other partners). That means 100% of your donation will go directly to the adoption.
- In following IRS guidelines, your donation is to Lifesong for Orphans. This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor’s suggested use.
- Lifesong is a 501(c)3 tax exempt organization. Individual donations of $50 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt. Receipts for donations under $50 will gladly be sent upon request.
- *3.5% fee for donations given with an American Express card