I’m sitting here staring at the screen and wondering what I am supposed to say. It has been almost three years since I sat down and wrote our first Lifesong story to raise money for our adoption. What a rollercoaster the days and months have been since then. If you have me or Will on Facebook, then you know part of the story.
The deep love we have for our kids.
The energy we have spent pursuing help for all their needs.
The days of laughter and the months of tears.
Mostly you know this: But God.
Because without God, there would be no adoption. There would be no laughter. There would be no strength to get up each morning and try again.
There would be no hope.
But God.
Three years later, we still know without a doubt that God called us to adopt. We know he had these kids for us. We know that there has been growth in ALL of us.
But we still don’t get to know the end of the story.
So we are taking the next step. After a year of dealing internally with Stefan Michael’s outbursts…after the surgery and the repairs to countless broken things…we started seeking more intense help. This year has seen Stefan Michael in acute care and in several residential treatment centers (RTCs). Even with all that I have put on Facebook, there is still so much that I have not put in writing. The bottom line is, Stefan Michael needs help.
He has been diagnosed with several things, but the biggest concern is his RAD – Reactive Attachment Disorder. RAD exhibits very differently from person to person, and age has an effect on the behaviors you see. Why does he seem to do so well in the RTCs? Well, it’s because he is back in an instiutional environment and not trying to attach to anyone. The problem is the RTCs will never give him the time or environment that he needs to heal.
So what does he need? At the advice of several who have been through this with their own children, and after hours of researching and questioning, we were led to Youth of Vision Academy in Jamaica. It is a boarding school that specializes in dealing with RAD. Their goal is to help children build healthy connections so that they can be productive members of society.
The school costs $3,950/month with an anticipated 24 months in the program, and it may cost about $10,000 to get him there. We are pursuing many different options as we look at ways to pay for this while also needing to provide for some major life things that are going on for the other kids. I have struggled with whether to ask for help again, and I was reminded (quite forcibly and kindly) from some very close friends that I did not need to be limiting how God might choose to provide. So it is with deep humbleness that I once again post our need and wait to see where and how He moves…
But God!
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