Cosme Adoption

Heather Cosme
Heather Cosme Pottstown, Pennsylvania

It has been 4 years since we said goodbye to Graceson.  While we absolutely know we will get to meet him when we’re done with this life,  we still grieve for that which we never had but hoped so much for. But God has been gracious to us.  We have been surrounded with friends and family, coworkers and counselors who have all become a part of our story.  

 

When Heather and I decided we wanted to start a family we had no idea what that would mean.  For reasons right now known only to our sovereign God our journey does not look the way we thought it would.  In truth, the more I talk with people about their own journeys the more I see that atypical really is typical.

 

For the first two years after the miscarriage Heather and I were in recovery mode; It took us some time to reconcile what we thought would be with the reality of what is.  Truthfully, to this day there are still some dates, songs, and events that invite us to grieve a little more.

 

The third year after the miscarriage we spent thinking about what’s next.  Life had become more normal and we were becoming accustomed to being just Heather and Dave.  But God wasn’t done with this yet.

 

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about a chapter in C. S. Lewis’s book, Mere Christianity, “Time and Beyond Time.  He says, “Almost certainly God is not in Time.  His life does not consist of moments following one another.”  He compares our view of life and God’s view of our lives within His existence to that of characters in a novel and the author.  While the characters in the novel are on a linear construct with no idea of what will happen later in the book and no control of time, the author has a complete view of the entire story without the inherent limitations of past, present, and future.  He admits even that analogy breaks down because we’ve gone from one construct of time, that which is in the novel, to another, that within which the author exists. He goes further to describe if time is the picture of a straight line on which we travel, then God is the page on which that line is drawn.

 

In other words, God is not bound by time, even if we cannot understand how existence without time can work.  

 

While we have experienced dreams, desires, excitement, loss, grief, and hope, our God, who is not bound by time, has already done the work of answering our prayer.  Our prayer to have a little one, to fulfill this desire grown and growing within us by God Himself is answered. Now we get to walk in faith and see how we get to experience the hand of God at work.  To that end, we are excited to announce that we will be adopting a child. While we are very early in the process this has been moving along (slowly) for a bit over a year.

 

So far, we have connected with an adoption facilitator who will assist us in the process which includes matching us to a biological mother.  We have completed a home study which involved quite literally telling our life stories and a visit to the home to ensure it is suitable for a child.  We were excited to find out Lifesong for Orphans found a partner for us, Grace Bible Fellowship in Quakertown, PA, that will match up to $2,500 in a grant to help us meet the large costs associated with adoption.  

 

During the last 4 years God has been working on us in many ways.  One of the lessons He’s taught us is that adoption is not a concession; this is not His back up plan for us.  He’s always known our story - the whole story. Including how He has adopted us, making us heirs to everything that is His.  This great, grand, sovereign God has adopted us into His family so that we get to experience Him. Every promise God has made that is for his children is for us!  We get peace, love, hope, and joy. We get his grace, kindness, provision, and faithfulness. We get the full measure of an army of angels at our disposal when we call on His name.  Because He has adopted us, because he has redeemed us, because He pursued us we get it all! We are son and daughter of the King.

 

Currently, we have this desire, this longing to have a child of our own to raise.  Sometime in the near future, there will be a woman who will make a selfless decision to do what is best for a child she will give birth to.  We do not celebrate what that woman will be going through. But we are overwhelmed to know that God is redeeming our horrible experiences and He is redeeming this woman’s horrible experiences to redeem a life.  And we get to be a part of that story. That story is our story. We are ecstatic to see how this story, our story, unfolds.

 

Many of you have already been a part of our story.  You donated towards the cost of IVF, prayed for us, and sent us encouraging messages.  You have walked alongside us through our grief, often propping us up (both figuratively and literally), helping us heal; all of which is appreciated beyond what words can express.  You have indeed been a part of our story. I know many of you will ask how you can be supportive going forward. There are four very practical ways:

  1. Pray.  Our prayer has always been that we would want what God wants.  May our desires be His desires.

  2. Contribute financially.  The cost of adoption is around $32,000.  We have started a fundraising campaign through a tool called mySTORY, which is provided by Lifesong for Orphans to provide assistance to adoptive families.  We hope to raise the funds for adoption related expenses by the end of November 2018.

  3. Send encouraging words.  Those encouraging words through the IVF process and the subsequent loss of Graceson were a real lifeline for us.  Getting that text message, email, card, and call with a prayer or uplifting words were like taking a much needed nice, long, deep breath.  Sincerely, thank you.

  4. Tell our story.  By sharing our story with others our hope is to open the conversation about infertility, adoption, and the grace of God.  

 

Four years ago it very much felt like the end.  Now we have this adorable little boy in heaven that looks a lot like me.  And before long we’ll have a little one whose life trajectory would have been very different, yet because of God’s redeeming love, the redeemed get to redeem.  

 


STRIPE charges an online processing fee (2.2% +.30 USD per transaction). Your donations will be decreased by this amount. You may also send a check payable to “Lifesong for Orphans”. In the memo line please write “Cosme 7820”, to ensure it is credited to our account. Please mail to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744.

Lifesong has been blessed with partners who underwrite all U.S. administrative and fundraising costs (TMG Foundation and other partners). That means 100% of your donation will go directly to the adoption.

  • In following IRS guidelines, your donation is to Lifesong for Orphans. This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor’s suggested use.
  • Lifesong is a 501(c)3 tax exempt organization. Individual donations of $50 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt. Receipts for donations under $50 will gladly be sent upon request.
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Raised to date by 65 people
 of  $32,000
8 days left

My Story

It has been 4 years since we said goodbye to Graceson.  While we absolutely know we will get to meet him when we’re done with this life,  we still grieve for that which we never had but hoped so much for. But God has been gracious to us.  We have been surrounded with friends and family, coworkers and counselors who have all become a part of our story.  

 

When Heather and I decided we wanted to start a family we had no idea what that would mean.  For reasons right now known only to our sovereign God our journey does not look the way we thought it would.  In truth, the more I talk with people about their own journeys the more I see that atypical really is typical.

 

For the first two years after the miscarriage Heather and I were in recovery mode; It took us some time to reconcile what we thought would be with the reality of what is.  Truthfully, to this day there are still some dates, songs, and events that invite us to grieve a little more.

 

The third year after the miscarriage we spent thinking about what’s next.  Life had become more normal and we were becoming accustomed to being just Heather and Dave.  But God wasn’t done with this yet.

 

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about a chapter in C. S. Lewis’s book, Mere Christianity, “Time and Beyond Time.  He says, “Almost certainly God is not in Time.  His life does not consist of moments following one another.”  He compares our view of life and God’s view of our lives within His existence to that of characters in a novel and the author.  While the characters in the novel are on a linear construct with no idea of what will happen later in the book and no control of time, the author has a complete view of the entire story without the inherent limitations of past, present, and future.  He admits even that analogy breaks down because we’ve gone from one construct of time, that which is in the novel, to another, that within which the author exists. He goes further to describe if time is the picture of a straight line on which we travel, then God is the page on which that line is drawn.

 

In other words, God is not bound by time, even if we cannot understand how existence without time can work.  

 

While we have experienced dreams, desires, excitement, loss, grief, and hope, our God, who is not bound by time, has already done the work of answering our prayer.  Our prayer to have a little one, to fulfill this desire grown and growing within us by God Himself is answered. Now we get to walk in faith and see how we get to experience the hand of God at work.  To that end, we are excited to announce that we will be adopting a child. While we are very early in the process this has been moving along (slowly) for a bit over a year.

 

So far, we have connected with an adoption facilitator who will assist us in the process which includes matching us to a biological mother.  We have completed a home study which involved quite literally telling our life stories and a visit to the home to ensure it is suitable for a child.  We were excited to find out Lifesong for Orphans found a partner for us, Grace Bible Fellowship in Quakertown, PA, that will match up to $2,500 in a grant to help us meet the large costs associated with adoption.  

 

During the last 4 years God has been working on us in many ways.  One of the lessons He’s taught us is that adoption is not a concession; this is not His back up plan for us.  He’s always known our story - the whole story. Including how He has adopted us, making us heirs to everything that is His.  This great, grand, sovereign God has adopted us into His family so that we get to experience Him. Every promise God has made that is for his children is for us!  We get peace, love, hope, and joy. We get his grace, kindness, provision, and faithfulness. We get the full measure of an army of angels at our disposal when we call on His name.  Because He has adopted us, because he has redeemed us, because He pursued us we get it all! We are son and daughter of the King.

 

Currently, we have this desire, this longing to have a child of our own to raise.  Sometime in the near future, there will be a woman who will make a selfless decision to do what is best for a child she will give birth to.  We do not celebrate what that woman will be going through. But we are overwhelmed to know that God is redeeming our horrible experiences and He is redeeming this woman’s horrible experiences to redeem a life.  And we get to be a part of that story. That story is our story. We are ecstatic to see how this story, our story, unfolds.

 

Many of you have already been a part of our story.  You donated towards the cost of IVF, prayed for us, and sent us encouraging messages.  You have walked alongside us through our grief, often propping us up (both figuratively and literally), helping us heal; all of which is appreciated beyond what words can express.  You have indeed been a part of our story. I know many of you will ask how you can be supportive going forward. There are four very practical ways:

  1. Pray.  Our prayer has always been that we would want what God wants.  May our desires be His desires.

  2. Contribute financially.  The cost of adoption is around $32,000.  We have started a fundraising campaign through a tool called mySTORY, which is provided by Lifesong for Orphans to provide assistance to adoptive families.  We hope to raise the funds for adoption related expenses by the end of November 2018.

  3. Send encouraging words.  Those encouraging words through the IVF process and the subsequent loss of Graceson were a real lifeline for us.  Getting that text message, email, card, and call with a prayer or uplifting words were like taking a much needed nice, long, deep breath.  Sincerely, thank you.

  4. Tell our story.  By sharing our story with others our hope is to open the conversation about infertility, adoption, and the grace of God.  

 

Four years ago it very much felt like the end.  Now we have this adorable little boy in heaven that looks a lot like me.  And before long we’ll have a little one whose life trajectory would have been very different, yet because of God’s redeeming love, the redeemed get to redeem.  

 


STRIPE charges an online processing fee (2.2% +.30 USD per transaction). Your donations will be decreased by this amount. You may also send a check payable to “Lifesong for Orphans”. In the memo line please write “Cosme 7820”, to ensure it is credited to our account. Please mail to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744.

Lifesong has been blessed with partners who underwrite all U.S. administrative and fundraising costs (TMG Foundation and other partners). That means 100% of your donation will go directly to the adoption.

  • In following IRS guidelines, your donation is to Lifesong for Orphans. This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor’s suggested use.
  • Lifesong is a 501(c)3 tax exempt organization. Individual donations of $50 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt. Receipts for donations under $50 will gladly be sent upon request.
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Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year!

December 30, 2018

First and foremost, Merry Christmas to those we have not seen, and an early Happy New Year to all!

 

This week has been a week of traveling, visiting family, and working on adoption stuff.  Full, but good. We have been watching informational webinars, reading required materials, and had a phone conference with our Adoptive Family coordinator.  Honestly, all that done, but I still feel a little bit like we haven’t really gotten anything done since there is nothing concrete to “show” for it. But, in reality, we ARE still moving forward.  Each step is getting us closer and closer to our little one(s) coming home.

 

It does feel a bit daunting, all the information, paperwork, etc, BUT, at the same time, it is SO exciting too.  I can’t wait!!!!!! I am SOOOOO excited!!!!!! I can almost feel it, touch it…..I can SEE it coming!!!! I have been brought to tears on this break just thinking about our little one(s), thinking about holding them, touching them, seeing them, being home with us.  I am just so grateful, already!

 

We are certainly looking forward to what 2019 has for us and our family!  Many blessings to you all as well in 2019.

 

If you’d like to donate towards the adoption, you can go to https://mystory.lifesongfororphans.org/stories/cosme-adoption/.   All contributions are tax deductible

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End of Year Giving

December 6, 2018

Hey, don’t forget, your donations are tax deductable!  So, for those of you who may not have given yet, who may have been waiting to give, or for those of you who it may have kept slipping your mind to give, the time is NOW!  Get it in before the end of the year and get your tax deduction!  Whoohoo!

 

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Blessed

November 27, 2018

What an amazing past few months it has been!

 

In early October, we announced that we were adopting and launched our fundraising campaign.  In mid October, we got to prep and get an “inside peek” of the new church building as we were nearing it’s completion.  In late October, we had our first service IN the new church building (5 years in the making!). In late October/early November, I attended a women’s retreat with my church.  In this past week in November, we got to celebrate Thanksgiving and all that we are thankful and grateful for. And now, in December, we are likely going to be starting with our facilitator!!!!!!  SO many BLESSINGS!!!!!!

 

A few key things I would like to highlight and share a bit more about are :the announcing of us adopting and launching of our fundraising campaign, our “inside peek” of the new church building, the women’s retreat, and starting with our facilitator.

 

First, us announcing our adoption and launching of our fundraising campaign.  We received so many words of encouragement, excitement, and affirmations in this new chapter or our life.  We were blessed by your hearts for us and for our future child! And, so many have given. Not a single one of you had to give at all, but you have chosen to give, chosen to bless us and our future child.  You have chosen to be a part of this journey with us! Thank you! Others have offered opportunities to support us separate from our MyStory and Gobena efforts (https://my.gobena.org/stories/cosme-adoption-fundraiser/?id=379.).  Again, not a single one of you had to offer these things, but you have chosen to offer these opportunities, chosen to bless us and our future child by these things.  You have chosen to be a part of this journey with us, as well. Thank you!

 

Second, the “inside peek” of the new church building.  I volunteer in the nursery one Sunday a month, as a part of our Children’s Ministry.  So, as we were getting ready for our first service in the new space, we had tours of the new spaces and training on protocols, etc.  The first room I saw was the Pre-K room. They had these little tiny tables, with chairs for snack and activities. They had these soft climbing blocks, all brightly colored and so inviting.  I couldn’t help but imagine mine and Dave’s little one in there one day, walking, climbing, playing, learning about Jesus. I just broke down in tears! I could SEE it, so close, so real, so possible…..and I could not contain my excitement, my anticipation, my joy.  I could see Dave’s prayer coming to fruition, “…May a new and blessed generation begin with these children”. Dave had written this prayer on the exterior wall, of what would become the nursery, one night when the church gathered to pray for the church in this new building and location, as it was being built.  Even then, that was his/our prayer for all the children that would enter those doors, and for ours as well.

 

Thirdly, the women’s retreat.  God is so faithful and so good.  He seems to know just how to get my attention and draw me in to Him.  Music and worship are big ones for me. This particular weekend, it was the song Sovereign Over Us, by Aaron Keyes, that got me.  You can check it out at the following site, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0x75JwBzD0. This song, as I said to the ladies that weekend, has been an anthem for Dave and I in our journey of infertility and desire to have a family.  I first heard this song about 5 years ago and immediately feel in love with it. In the past, tears that were shed during this song, have been due to aching, longing, trying to hold on to the truths in the song, and even out of a sense of God reminding me that He hadn’t forgotten me.  That weekend though, my tears were not from aching, longing, and trying to hold on to the truths in this song. They were instead grateful tears, healing tears, and restorative tears. I could SEE it coming to be. I could SEE God making it all happen, making it all true, not just in hope, in faith, in trust, or in believing it would come, but in all actuality….I could SEE it! It was like when God told his people in Joel 2:25, that He was going to restore the years the locusts had eaten…..He was restoring my years that had been eaten.  He was restoring my hurt, my grief, my disappointment, ALL of it!!!! I could FEEL Him restoring those years of deep aching, longing, questioning, hoping, trusting, holding on, and waiting. It was AMAZING!!!!!

 

Lastly, starting with our facilitator.  We have a phone conference with an intake worker this Thursday evening.  From there we will start the process of paperwork, profiles, payments, website, video, etc.  THIS is only possible because of you all! We would not have been able to start this step if it hadn’t been for your generosity, prayers, and support.  Yes, we still have a ways to go financially, but I know the Lord will provide. We won’t be shown to birth mom’s until we have their entire fee paid, but at least this way, we can keep moving ahead and making progress.  This is a VERY exciting step for us and we are so grateful to God and to you all for helping to make this happen!

 

If there is anyone who is still interested in helping us with funds for the adoption, you can donate on our MyStory page, at https://mystory.lifesongfororphans.org/stories/cosme-adoption/ or you can purchase coffee at, https://my.gobena.org/stories/cosme-adoption-fundraiser/?id=379.

 

Thank you all again, for your giving, your words of excitement/encouragement, your prayers…..all of it!!!!

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Hope

November 10, 2018

Hope.  I remember having hope for Graceson.  I remember having to let go of that hope… no, that’s not quite right.  The hope grew into something greater. That hope grew into a faith, a certainty that he is living a beautiful life right now, full of true peace, joy, love, and absent of any pain whatsoever.  My hope for Graceson grew into a faith in our future together, by the grace of God. God created a life through Heather, me, a team of doctors, and a hopeful people who made that possible. No regrets.  

 

Today, I feel a new hope.  I feel it when I go for a walk and my mind relaxes enough to dream about what will be.  I feel it when I talk to many of you about our future. I feel it when I think about how different my life with Heather will be once the baby arrives.  I feel it when I ponder the sleepless nights on baby patrol, the smelly diapers, the pukey pajamas, the crocodile tears, the real tears, the drama we’ll endure if it’s a girl, the broken stuff if it’s a boy.  

 

Heather and I are beyond blessed – I have no illusions to the contrary.  But still, God is saying if we just keep our faith and hope in him, the best is yet to come.  The best is yet to come. We have yet to see what God is going to do in our circumstances. That is where my hope is rooted.  I feel hope when I dwell on thoughts of Heather’s motherhood; oh, what a beautiful thing that will be! Her capacity to love and care and give – I’m better because of her; just wait until she’s a mom!  

 

When I drift to thoughts of fatherhood, I feel hope.  I’m feel hope for what God will do through me for our child.  I feel hope that our child will feel the love of his or her parents and God so much that he or she is compelled to love others in meaningful and active ways.  

 

I am filled with hope.  But just like love and faith, hope is more than an idea that we feel.  It’s also an action we commit. Many of you have hoped with us. You hoped with is for Graceon by praying and donating.  You are with us in this new hope by praying for us, offering to help in whatever ways you can, and donating towards adoption.   Your hope gives me hope. For that, I sincerely thank you.

 

We are excited to announce that we are very close to being able to move to the next stage in the process.  We can create our bio, website, and profile that Lifetime Adoptions will use to match us with a birthmom once we have 50% of the cost.  We will have up to 6 months to pay the rest, at which point the bio, website, and profile go live. Although the MyStory fundraising platform shows only a little over $3,000 raised so far, when we account for all funds so far (MyStory, Gobena Coffee sales, a matching grant, and our own savings) we have raised just over $8,000 so far.  We are about $2,000 from being able to move to the next stage.

 

For those of you hoping with us, here are some practical things you can do:

  • Pray.  We always want to want what God wants.  

  • Give.  We are about $2,000 from moving on to the next stage.  We are hopeful we can get there by Thanksgiving. You can give through this site, or by buying coffee from https://my.gobena.org/stories/cosme-adoption-fundraiser/?id=379.  The proceeds will go towards our adoption costs.  

  • Share.  There are others who will hope with us, not only for us but for all of those couples who have not been able to start families, all those children who are currently or will be parentless, and all those pregnant mothers not ready to be moms who are desperate for a solution.  

 

May we hope together for a future full of joy, peace, and love, full of challenges and triumphs, new experiences and dreams fulfilled.  Together, the best is yet to come!

 

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31 Party Closes Tomorrow

October 26, 2018

Tomorrow will the the last day that folks can go to the link for the 31 Party that our friend is doing for us.  She will be donating a portion of her proceeds from the month of October to our cause.  Would you take a few minutes to check out the link and see if there is anything you might be interested in purchasing for yourself or as a gift for someone?  

https://www.mythirtyone.com/us/en/1980351/shop/Party/EventDetail/10887359?fbclid=IwAR3gzBHgR7bPKvtslVum14pDxcp5Y4z8mF-RaZM3pNvnL9NgJ9GhKPF-cPQ

If you cannot open the link by clicking on it here, copy and paste it into your web browser.  

Thank you all again for your generosity!  We are blessed…..

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Vulnerability

October 21, 2018

Heather and I are so excited to announce that we have reached the amount for the matching grant.  Through a combination of all the fundraising avenues and our own savings we are about $7,500 of the way to our goal!  

 

While we are absolutely excited to see that number climb towards our goal, what excites me right now is how so many people are excited to be a part of our story.  Since our announcement we have had friends praying for us daily, open up to use about their own struggles with infertility, contribute towards our fundraising efforts, offer to use their own businesses to help with raising funds, and share their own adoption success stories.

 

We have learned many lessons along the way, but one recurring theme is vulnerability.  Being vulnerable does not come easy to most of us. There is always the risk of being hurt when being vulnerable.  

 

Being vulnerable also opens us up to healing.  We all have hurts; none of us was designed to process those hurts alone.  What I am seeing and experiencing is a sort of exponential healing that occurs from sharing our hurts and processing them with each other.  Pain, like sin, grows in the dark and fades in the light. Healing comes when we shine light on the pain.

 

So, while we are excited about getting closer to our fundraising goal, I am just as excited to see how God is redeeming pains, by drawing people together to be a part of our story, and encouraging vulnerability – shining light on the pain to bring healing.  

 

Thank you for all who have contributed and continue to pray for us and our future child daily.  Thank you to all of you who have shared your stories with us. It is an honor to hear and be trusted with your stories.  

 

For those who want to support our desire to adopt, there are several ways:

  • Continue to pray for us.  Pray that we have clear vision for next steps as we go through this process.  Pray that our greatest desire is to want what God wants.

  • Pray for those struggling with infertility.  Pray that the peace of God that surpasses all understanding is with them as the process through their experiences.  Pray that they know they are not alone.

  • Contribute towards the cost of adoption for us.  You can make a donation right on this site.

  • Coffee drinkers: go to our Goben website.  Read the amazing story of how Gobena got started.  Then buy coffee that will contribute towards our fundraising efforts at https://my.gobena.org/stories/cosme-adoption-fundraiser/?id=379.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this and be a part of our story!  

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Matching Grant

October 18, 2018

For every dollar that is raised through this site, through Lifesong directly (mail), or through the Gobena link (coffee), Grace Bible Fellowship, in Quakertown, PA has graciously offered to match it, up to $2,500.  So, $50 becomes $100, $20 becomes $40, and so on, all the way up to $2,500….meaning, that if we were able to get to the $2,500, that becomes $5,000!!!! What a gift they are giving us, as well as all of you who are donating.  We truly appreciate you and your giving, we are humbled by your giving, and are honored that you would give when you absolutley don’t have to, you are choosing to give out of grace.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!  We are blessed by you all!

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October 16th, Quite a Significant Day for Me

October 16, 2018

(by Heather)

The day Dave and I met, the day Dad died, and the day I posted about my grief and my struggle with losing Graceson.

So, I was looking back at my FB memories today and saw all these posts from previous years on this day.  There were quite a few about the day Dave and I met.  There was at least one about my dad and remembering him on this day, and then there were two about the miscarriage. One was my post in our blog “My Grief, My Struggle” (http://tocreatelife.blogspot.com/2014/10/my-grief-my-struggle.html) and the other was a post in FB about choosing to see the good in the day…Dave, friends, support systems, the beautiful autumn air and colors, etc.

I re-read each of these, but the most impactful to me, was my blog post about the miscarriage.  It talked about how lost I felt, how I had no sense of purpose -not being able to be a mom, biologically, feelings of being “less than” because I wasn’t able to be a mom biologically, questioning why God let this miscarriage happen, why He didn’t make Graceson healthy if that was what caused the miscarriage, it even referenced me telling Dave, before I was actually pregnant, that if the IVF didn’t work or if it did work and I lost the baby, that I would not want to do anything “for a while” to try and further us having a family (including adoption or foster to adopt).

And now, here we are, 4 years later, and SO much has changed!  God has done SO MUCH work in my life.  He has brought me such a long way!  I am a licensed massage therapist, something I had often thought about doing and enjoying, but didn’t think I would ever be able to do, and I LOVE it, I have come to terms with why Graceson didn’t survive (Trisomy 13), and honestly, have come to a place of rathering that he didn’t survive, due to what his life would have likely been like if he had, and God has brought me to a place of being open to and excited about adopting a child! WOW!  Talk about faithfulness….that’s what God has been and has been doing in my life these last 4 years.

What a journey it has been.  Sometimes we can’t always see just how far we’ve come or just how much God has done in our lives, because we are in the midst of it every day, but when we get the chance to look back, be removed from it for a little bit and really be reminded of where we once were, it can be pretty amazing!

God, I am so thankful! You have done some amazing work in and with me.  You have brought purpose to my life again, you have given me peace and acceptance of our circumstances, and you have given me new hope for our future and our family. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!

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Questions We’ve Been Asked

October 10, 2018

1. Have you met any birthmom’s yet?

No, we have not.  We won’t be able to do this until we have the $20,000 for our facilitator.  Then, we will start working on our website and profile to be shared with birthmom’s.  This is what will enable us to start talking to them, if/when they are interested in possibly placing their child with us.

2. Where are you adopting from?

We are adopting from the US.  This is called Domestic Adoption.

3. Are you adopting a boy, girl, etc?

Well, we will be adopting a newborn.  We said that we are open to accept a boy or a girl, African American, Caucasian, Hispanic, or any combination of these three, and we are open to the possibility of adopting twins, if that were to present itself. It will also be an open adoption.  This means there may be some interaction between us, the birthmom, and the child.  These specifics will be worked out with the birthmom and us as we are matched.  

4. Where are you at in the process? Kind of simliar to #1, but I’ll clarify

We have completed our Home Study through a seperate provider than our facilitator.  Basically, this is an application to become adoptive parents.  It involoves a VERY thorough process of learning about us, our upbringing, our finances, our marriage, our philosophies on child rearing, personal references for us, etc.  We have also completed all required background checks, physicals, and, a home inspection- all a part of the Home Study.  

We have also applied to the facilitator we want to use and have been accepted into their program, once the funding comes through.  

That is all I can think of at this time, but if there are any other questions, please feel free to ask and we will do our best to answer them for you.  

Thank you all again for your love, excitement, encouragement, giving, sharing of our updates/story, and prayers for us in this journey.  We are blessed by you all!

 

 

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Thirty One Party Correction

October 9, 2018

Oops….I gave you all the wrong link, here is the correct one. https://www.mythirtyone.com/us/en/1980351/shop/Party/EventDetail/10887359

 

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Thirty One Party

October 7, 2018

So, a friend that sells Thirty One products has offered to do an online party for us, donating a portion of those proceeds to our adoption.  What another great way to give, and maybe even get a little Christmas shopping done too :). 

This oportunity will be open to all of you and anyone that you may want to share this with for the entire month of October.  Here is the link to check things out: https://www.facebook.com/events/162119144724651/163299264606639/?notif_t=admin_plan_mall_activity&notif_id=1538932212688454 .  They offer a variety of items- bags, pillows, decorative home acessories, totes, jewelery, baby items, organizational items, the whole gamet….and it can all be personalized!  So, what are you waiting for?  Check it out!  Get some Christmas shopping done and help us get one step closer to meeting our little one.  

Love you all, and so grateful for all of your love, support (emotional and financial), and rooting for us!

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A Quarter of the Way

October 4, 2018

We are 1/4 of the way to meeting the goal for our matching grant ($2,500), whooohoo!!!! Thank you to each of you who have given.  We truly do appreciate it.  We are blessed to have people surrounding us in love, support (financial, emotional, and spiritual), and encouragement on our journey.  We truly could not have been where we are right now without all of you.  We love you guys!

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Thank You and Breakdown

October 2, 2018

Hello everyone!  First of all, we want to say “Thank You!”  Thank you for your donations, thank you for your kind words, well wishes, and encouragement, and thank you for sharing our story with others.  We could not do this without you all.  As the saying goes, “it takes a village”.  Our hearts are blessed because of you all! 

Second, I wanted to breakdown the costs a little bit more to help you all understand why our goal is so high.  Believe me, I had a hard time understanding/accepting this as well at times, but there are reasons that make sense as to why it costs as much as it does to adopt, generally you just aren’t really aware of them until you go through the process :).  

First of all, our largest expense will be the facilator.  This is the organization that will help us find our birthmom and ultimate, “little one”.  There cost is just under $20,000.  They help us create a website and a portfolio and then share these things with the birthmom’s they are working with to facilitate a “match” between us and them.  They also do advertising to draw birthmom’s to them so they can have a pool of birthmom’s for adoptive families to potentailly connect with.  They screen the birthmom’s, they connect the birthmom’s with counseling, they help birthmom’s get connected with resources available to them (health insurance, materinity clothing, etc.), they help us and the birthmom foster our first contact if their interested in us adopting their child, and they provide A TON of resources for us as well- guidance, information, referrrals to lawyers, etc.  

The second largest expense would be the legal fees.  This can range from $8,000 to $10,000.  Adoptive families pay for their own lawyer as well as the birthmom’s lawyer to complete any and all paperwork needed for the adoption.  Beyond that, there are “birthmom expenses”.  These range from situation to situation and state by state, but we have chosen to set our budget at $2,000 for these.  This could be for things like busfare to doctor appointments, copays for doctor appointments, utilities, etc.  These do not go directly to the birthmom.  Our lawyer would send the payments to the provider of these services directly.  The last expense would be for travel.  If the baby is born in a state other than PA, we would need to stay in that state for 7-14 days, needing a hotel room and food for that time, as well as the potential for aiffare if the baby is born in CA for example.  

I hope this helps to clarify the costs a little bit more.  

Thanks again for all your love, support, giving, and sharing of our story.

 

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Other Giving Option

October 2, 2018

For those who might be wondering, you can also donate via check directly to Lifesong for Orphans, made out to Lifesong for Orphans.  You would need to put our family account number (7820)  and “Cosme” in the memo line and mail it to: Lifesong for Orphans PO Box 40 Gridley, IL 61744.  

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Comments

$35

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Feb 20, 2019

$248

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Feb 18, 2019

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Hidden

Feb 16, 2019

“Can't wait to see you both as parents. God is using your story and I have no doubt he will continue to do so through your adoption. I'm with you fam! Continued prayer as always. - J”

$135

Megan

Feb 12, 2019

“We are praying for baby Cosme!!!”

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Ashley

Feb 2, 2019

“I am so excited for you and your little one!”

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Michelle

Dec 20, 2018

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Andrew

Dec 19, 2018

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Scott

Dec 12, 2018

“We are praing for you! Scott & Sheetal”

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Ben and Jenny

Dec 9, 2018

“We are so happy for all three of you. The best things in life are worth the wait. You deserve this.”

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Dec 9, 2018

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Dec 8, 2018

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Kelly

Nov 19, 2018

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Shari

Nov 10, 2018

“It will be one lucky baby!”

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Hidden

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Oct 22, 2018

“God is in total control. You are going to be wonderful and blessed parents.”

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$500

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Alex and Kaela

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Boyd Family

Oct 19, 2018

$150

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Deborah

Oct 12, 2018

“We love you guys and continually pray for the Lord to bless you with the child (children) He has for you!”

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Coral

Oct 8, 2018

“You are the most deserving ♡”

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Seth

Oct 1, 2018

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Daniel

Oct 1, 2018

“Adoption is a beautiful gift. Your story made me think of a passage, I looked it up and it was Mark 9:37. I’m rereading it now and praying for you guys.”

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Rebecca

Oct 1, 2018

“I am so for you guys to embark on this journey and I will be praying that god sends you what you are so deserving of! Love you!”