Here I sit, 19 years old in a Dr.’s bright, sterile medical office with my mother getting ready to have a conversation I am woefully underprepared for. “I hope every thing is ok, maybe what I was told won’t be true” I think to myself. My heart is racing, feeling as though it’s about to beat right out of my chest. I look to my mother secretly hoping she will be able to ask all of the right questions, as I feel I am awfully young to be discussing such adult decisions. “You have Blepharophimosis- Ptosis-Epicanthus-Inversus Syndrome (BPES).” says a Dr. with a strong ethnic accent. I think to my self “this I have known for years, its not new. Most of my paternal family has this genetic disorder and it has become a part of our identity and has long served as a means for unification of our family.” It was the next sentence which simply took the air right out of my chest leaving me searching for oxygen to make it to my next breath. “With your current diagnosis you will be faced with premature ovarian failure which means you will be unlikely to be able to have children or you may have your ovaries removed and have them cryopreserved with the possibility of implanting them later in your life. With this option, you will have the possibility of bearing children if your eggs are healthy enough to become fertilized by your partner’s semen. This of course would mean you would go into menopause.” “What….how could this be? My options seem so limited. Either I let God take his course and live out his journey which he has set forth for me, which could include the possibility of never having children or at the age of 19, have surgery. Not just any surgery, but one which would strongly impact my hormones, my body, and my life as a young woman. This was not a decision I considered lightly. Most, in fact all but one, women in my family have been unable to conceive children because of this genetic syndrome. Some how I thought “maybe I’ll be different, maybe my genes will be better, but it was hard to deny the odds. After days, weeks, months of consideration, I decided I would allow God to take his course with my body and would pray I would not go into premature ovarian failure prior to the years I would be wanting to conceive a child. This day is one I will never forget.
Fast forward to 2009 when I met a wonderful and amazing man named Drew. God truly blessed me when he placed Drew in my life. As I did in other relationships, I bared the difficult news about the high potential of infertility and what struggles we would be face if having children was in our future. The understanding person he is, he had no hesitations and would tell me his love for me did not compare to the struggles which could be brought on by infertility. In 2012, I had the great pleasure to marry this selfless person and this is when our fertility journey began.
Since our journey started four years ago, we have endeavored one IVF with the only two harvested eggs/embryo’s. After this try, it was evident any attempts with my own eggs would be largely unsuccessful. After this time period, we sought out an egg donor. On our first attempt with our egg donor, the donor accidentally gave herself too much medication and the cycle had to be cancelled two days before we were set to harvest her eggs. As a result, we were left with a further financial burden. After we saved more money, we tried to set out again. We also found out that one our agency Egg Donor Agency we chose, was involved with embezzlement and our Coordinator was indicted on federal charges. Thank goodness our money was not touched. After two more IVF rounds with a total of four embryo’s implanted, we were able to have one short term successful pregnancy, which I ended up miscarrying at week 6. With the financial burden of the infertility costs (upwards of $50,000) we are now at a place were we have decided “parenting” is more important to us then being able to biologically conceive our own child.
Currently we are in the process of adopting. We have completed all of the paperwork, dotting our “I’s” and crossing our “t’s.” We have been approved by a local agency for private adoption of an infant in the United States. We have friviously applied for grants and have been lucky enough to recieve a matching grant from Lifesong for Orphans. For every dollar that we raise, Lifesong will match up to $3,000.00. What a BLESSING!!! So far we have raised through others generiousity $4,925.00 and have been granted 1,500.00 through Outreach for Families and our local Luthern Chapter for Life. Unfortunately the funds we have already raised will not go towards this new matching grant for tax purposes so this needs to be NEW FUNDS. The OLD funds and the impending NEW funds, will go towards fee's including agency placement fee, legal fee's, ,medical fee's, homestudy fee's etc.
We would so greatly appreciate funding to help us be able to pursue our dream of parenting. We are determined to find the baby that God has “willed” to us and we know he will provide us the way of being able to do so. We appreciate your consideration and are so incredibly thankful for the opportunity.
STRIPE charges an online processing fee (2.2% +.30 USD per transaction). Your donations will be decreased by this amount. You may also send a check payable to “Lifesong for Orphans”. In the memo line please write “Linn 6632”, to ensure it is credited to our account. Please mail to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744.
Lifesong has been blessed with partners who underwrite all U.S. administrative and fundraising costs (TMG Foundation and other partners). That means 100% of your donation will go directly to the adoption.
- In following IRS guidelines, your donation is to Lifesong for Orphans. This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor’s suggested use.
- Lifesong is a 501(c)3 tax exempt organization. Individual donations of $50 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt. Receipts for donations under $50 will gladly be sent upon request.